SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi all. It's been a while since I posted. It's been just over two and half years since DD.
My wife left her job a year a go which reduced a lot of anxiety because they worked together.
We have finished MC and both our IC session and things are definitely going in the right direction.
I still think about it every day. Doesn't help that I have to drive past his house on the way to my work. Got lots of silly little triggers I can't seam to clear. But I can get rid of the bad thoughts pretty quick now.
I see the AP every couple of months. Want to soo badly pull over and talk to him. Tell him how much he ruined us. Check the information my wife told me to make sure it's all right. But don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he's in my head.
Looking forward to a day or week even ware I don't think about it or get triggered.
Does make you second think your self. If you made the right decision to stay and fight or not.
Sorry. Just abit of a rant
Thanks

Yup, just passed the 3 year mark and I’m in the same boat, so to speak. I think about it way too often, it’s consuming me sometimes.

I too look forward to a day or week where I don’t think about it/get triggered. I’m not sure it will ever go away. I am also not entirely sure that R was best for me and I will not say "never" to a D until I can truthfully say ILY and I forgive you. There was so much with his LTA that I’m not sure he deserves to be forgiven. But I’m trying!

Best of luck to you with your R!

@possumlover - Thank you for your message, it sadly makes me feel a bit better inside knowing im not the only one feeling like this. I've not told family, only one friend which has been a big help however, until this happens to you, you just don't know how it feels :-( .

It took longer than 3 years for me to get to a level of peace that satisfied me. I kept at it because 1) life kept getting better, although not as quickly as I wanted, and 2) my W kept doing her work and changing for the better.

R takes a lot of patience. One can't know if the peace/satisfaction/confidence in your relationship is around the corner or several miles down the road or if it will never come.

My reco: stay with your feelings, thoughts, and observations. Improvement, even snail-paced improvement, is positive for R. Staying in the same place or getting more dissatisfied with progress is negative for R and needs to be investigated.

Remember: you'll be OK whether you D or R.

You are welcome and I agree with sisoon too. Also, I’m glad you have a friend to confide in, it does help. I don’t know where I’d be without my sister and one friend - they know everything! Every painful detail.

I also will add, I think I just wanted to fix my marriage, push this away and try to move on. But it came back to haunt me in horrible ways. I think at times I was lying to myself about my happiness, just tried to put on a happy face to move one. It didn’t work. Be honest with yourself, take care of yourself, and do what is best for you. You only get one you.

This is a shitty road to be on, never thought I’d be here, I’m now learning to navigate this road for myself first.

Good luck!