I am so Grateful

I experience 2 set of emotions after getting chumped.
One is sadness, pain & RAGE.
The other, profound relief.

I'm 27 & while the experience of seeing your whole worldview getting destroyed in a matter of hours/days is not great & the pain & devastation eats me, the feeling of waking up, the realisation that I was living in an illusion that was shattered & seeing things "as they are" & not concocting romantic ideas about the world is profoundly liberating.

I have learnt that:

1) I am all alone in this world.

2) People are SELFISH (INCLUDING ME) & are with you to fullfill "their" needs & desires & not because YOU hold some intrinsic value.

3) All of us are a mash of compulsions that push & pull us in a million different directions like "addictions" & we are unconscious about it.
So the veneer of intelligence & sense that anybody displays is just that, a veneer. Scratch it & you'll find the truth, that people have no control over their thoughts & emotions (forget the deeper things).

You can't explain for example why you like tomato & dislike potato, the same things liked & disliked by million other people in the same or the reverse way (or people liking or disliking both) & you expect me to believe you that you know why you like or dislike me, a human being, the most sophisticated & complex species on earth, the pinnacle of evolution on the planet. Right🙄

4) My physical,mental, emotional, financial & spirituality needs & desires are MY RESPONSIBILITY.
The moment I depend on "anything" or "anyone", I forsake my freedom & become a slave of that key which unlocks the experience within me.

5) The seat of human experience is within. I feel joy or sadness, agony or ecstasy within myself. The external stimuli are just a suggestion, ultimately only I can decide what I will feel in a given situation.

6) Whether people are saying good things & professing their undying love for me or are cursing my existence is THIER VIEWPOINT. As they're unconscious & compulsive, whatever they say (good or bad) reflects what they are feeling & is in no way a commentary on me. I may have induced the feeling but ultimately it is their experience.

So, one must not give a shit about praise or ridicule as the person heaping it on you is unaware.

7) LOVE & COMMITMENT ARE FICKLE.

The person who claims to love you & has declared their allegiance to you can flip in a moment when tempted.

However good or strong your relationship is, it will not stop the other person from taking steps to satisfy his/her lust (for anything or anyone) & destroy the very foundations of your relationship.

It is of no intrinsic value or in other words, it is NOT a bulwark against temptation.

People will do what they want to do, always.

8) Understanding these things intellectually & fully incorporating them in your lived experience are two different things.
The pain that you've experienced is a barrier that prevents you from accepting the truth.
It will take time to sink in & that's okay.
It is a marathon but you are on the right track.

So, yeah, in pain but greatful.

3 comments posted: Thursday, September 18th, 2025