Jpapageorge ( member #31800)		posted at 12:27 AM on Sunday, March 8th, 2015	
				"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF		
	 	 			
				    				oldtimer97 ( member #2365)		posted at 5:59 PM on Friday, March 20th, 2015	
				“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
― Maya Angelou
To save a marriage, you must be willing to lose the marriage. 		
	 	 			
				    				 mchercheur (original poster  member #37735)		posted at 8:40 PM on Friday, March 27th, 2015	
				Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be		
	 	 			
				    				hshbmom ( member #47307)		posted at 7:20 PM on Saturday, March 28th, 2015	
		 			
				    				yearsofpain25 ( member #42012)		posted at 10:01 PM on Thursday, April 2nd, 2015	
				"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll		
	 	 			
				    				mendingme ( member #47403)		posted at 10:31 PM on Thursday, April 2nd, 2015	
			 
	Thank you for this well thought out and well written post. My DDay was 6 months ago and I have just been lurking up until now. We have been actively engaged in IC and MC and H is working very hard on his issues. It took about 5 months and I had a revelation that it really his HIS work and my job is to strengthen myself! I feel as though I'm remembering what I am made of and it feels good. Giving up a bit of control feels good also. Will he cheat again? Who knows, but now I am prepared (thanks in part to SI) with strong boundaries and I know my deal breakers. I also am pursuing a masters degree at this point because I want to feel secure in knowing I could support myself. Lots of changes around here  
 
 
			 			Me:BS, 46
Him: WH, 50
DDay: 10/31/14 2 1/2 year affair
Married 24 years, 3 Awesome kids
Trying to reconcile		
	 	 			
				    				 mchercheur (original poster  member #37735)		posted at 8:23 PM on Saturday, April 25th, 2015	
				Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be		
	 	 			
				    				letdownandlonely ( member #47125)		posted at 1:36 AM on Sunday, April 26th, 2015	
				Me BSO 52
Him ?
1 4+ yr LTA PA EA, 3 OP PA porn, cams, Sites. 
You can't live in two places at once. - Buck Brannaman.		
	 	 			
				    				1moretess ( member #47635)		posted at 2:06 AM on Sunday, April 26th, 2015	
			 
	Thank you so much for a words or wisdom and for all your research and sharing with us newbies a sorta heads up. I'm so happy to find this site, and can relate to so many of the personal struggles we BS go through. I hope some day to be like you and some how pay it all forward. Until then lurking and replying when I can. Thank you once again. 
 
			 			Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care.
ME 44 BS together 18 years
Him 55 stbx (a abusive narcissist in every form.) 		
	 	 			
				    				Jpapageorge ( member #31800)		posted at 8:20 AM on Monday, May 4th, 2015	
				"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF		
	 	 			
				    				 mchercheur (original poster  member #37735)		posted at 3:13 PM on Sunday, May 10th, 2015	
				Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be		
	 	 			
				    				Laura215 ( member #47820)		posted at 3:17 PM on Sunday, May 10th, 2015	
			 
	This is vital information for all BS trying to sift through our emotions and options. We didn't choose this situation but we definitely have choices to make for our futures. In my opinion, the damage is permanent but we must go on as best we can. 
 
			 		 			
				    				yearsofpain25 ( member #42012)		posted at 8:29 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2015	
				"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll		
	 	 			
				    				Jpapageorge ( member #31800)		posted at 9:24 AM on Saturday, June 6th, 2015	
				"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF		
	 	 			
				    				Jpapageorge ( member #31800)		posted at 10:23 AM on Saturday, July 4th, 2015	
				"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF		
	 	 			
				    				yearsofpain25 ( member #42012)		posted at 8:17 PM on Friday, August 14th, 2015	
				"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll		
	 	 			
				    				StillLivin ( member #40229)		posted at 5:33 AM on Tuesday, August 25th, 2015	
				"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014		
	 	 			
				    				 mchercheur (original poster  member #37735)		posted at 3:01 PM on Sunday, September 6th, 2015	
				Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be		
	 	 			
				    				SpinDoctorsHusband ( member #49206)		posted at 3:39 AM on Monday, September 7th, 2015	
				Failure is always an option. 		
	 	 			
				    				bw900 ( member #47732)		posted at 8:14 AM on Tuesday, September 8th, 2015	
			 
	Great post. Close to 8 months and still struggling. How could I cry so many tears? This post is an excellent summary. 
 
			 			Me: BW 68 (59 at dday) WH: 69 (60 at dday)D-day 1/2015 EA/PA 1.25 year w/COW M 31 yrs,  4 grown kids Reconciling, which is not easy! Still Grieving what I thought our M was and who I thought he was