VirginiaRegret (original poster member #48955) posted at 2:50 AM on Thursday, October 9th, 2025
I don't know how many people will recognize my screen name, maybe no one. I posted often probably 8 years ago now. I honestly don't know what made me think of this forum tonight. But was just reflecting on how far I've come from the days it seemed nearly impossible to go on. So to those at the beginning, it isn't impossible. It isn't hopeless. The work is hard. And it's painful. But there are good days ahead too even though it might feel very dark today. I hope to reconnect with those "old timers" who dragged me along amd called me out and helped me work toward a better me. Hugs to everyone out there hurting tonight.
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 2:21 PM on Thursday, October 9th, 2025
Well, hello there, old friend. Nice to 'see' you again. Eight years is quite a while. I'd more or less quit SI when I got divorced a few years ago. This past June I logged on for a bit, got drawn in by a BH, and now I find myself trying to pass along all of the valuable lessons and wisdom I learned here, many years ago.
There aren't too many "old timers" around these days, but I'm quite certain people would remember you as well as I do.
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
VirginiaRegret (original poster member #48955) posted at 3:06 PM on Thursday, October 9th, 2025
You know, it makes me happy that most of the people posting when I was aren't around anymore. And it should give those newer to the forum hope. When I was at the beginning of this, it felt like it would define me and my marriage forever. Like it would be the only thing that mattered from here on out. More than a decade out and I can tell you what actually defines my marriage is resilience. And two stubborn people who refused to give up. It was so hard and honestly, some days are still hard. But not because of infidelity, but just because, shit, marriage is hard. Life is hard.
I don't know what even made me think of this forum yesterday. Maybe it was put in my heart because someone needed encouragement to keep going. Or maybe because I needed to work through some things. Who knows. But good to hear from you, Unhinged, glad you're still here imparting wisdom and support.
dlvp ( new member #54772) posted at 10:17 AM on Sunday, November 2nd, 2025
VirginaRegret and Unhinged ... I am so glad I saw this thread. My BH and I are working on reconciliation and it is all pretty new. It was a horrible and very long betrayal on my part, but somehow we are digging through this tunnel and trying to find light on the other side. There were two D days - one in May of 2013 and another in July of this year (2025). Same AP on and off of 15 years. A week from Thursday will be the 20th week of NC. I decided to keep track to remind myself that I can do this and to stay accountable. At this point my hubby is wary one minute and in love and trusting the next. Angry and depressed one day and hopeful the next. Same for me (angry at myself). I expected the rollercoaster. I expected him to leave. For now he is staying. When I am able to tell the story again I will. I did post back this summer so maybe you can see it there, but for now, just thank you for being here. I will take any wisdom and advice. I dream of being an old timer who is still married to the same amazing man long long after these posts. God willing.
[This message edited by dlvp at 10:18 AM, Sunday, November 2nd]
